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"I will carry 17 grocery bags or die trying before making two trips."

Source: sarcasmfluently
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hardcoresinceninetyfour:

comedycentral:

Click here to watch more of Jordan Klepper and Jessica Williams’s safety tips for college students from last night’s Daily Show.

point made?

Source: comedycentral
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colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys

porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

(via ragingshiftingwindsofterror)

Source: biencorrect
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lowkeywalker:

come-to-my-world:

Ok, so I don’t know how I ended up here and woah!

they made

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characters

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for

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every

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single

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element

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of the

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periodic

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table!

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And also they made this

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and this

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*new ship* 

There’s even a granny!

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It’s like

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superheros

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(there’s a guy who looks like Hulk btw)

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and humans

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and there are

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twins!!

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And Bethoveen

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THEY MADE THOR

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And there’s also this which made me laugh

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I can’t! 

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(source)

this is the coolest shit b.

(via newdart)

Source: come-to-my-world
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fouryearsofshades:

绿树阴浓的夏日,滿園花草芬芳,冰壺凉箪尚不能解暑,惟願小窗清風過,飘飖吹我裳。 (via 七月·襦裙)

桑纈 http://www.weibo.com/u/3572594885

(via therealkeyblademaster)

Source: douban.com
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Link

http://so-halerious.tumblr.com/post/97565728112/avengersaccumulate-so-every-time-i-go-to

avengersaccumulate:

So every time I go to Starbucks and they ask for my name I always tell them ‘Tony Stark’.
(I’m cool I know.)
Anyway today when they called out my ‘name’ and I went to collect it I noticed this guy blatantly staring at me as he ordered his drink.
I thought nothing of…

Source: mamagwendo
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becausebirds:

LET THERE BE BONES!

becausebirds:

LET THERE BE BONES!

(via newdart)

Source: becausebirds
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this is social anxiety summed up in two gifs

(via princessmartells)

Source: ashleybreather
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radicalrebellion:

nelaguilvr:

iamchantaya:

rhomeporium:

A mother’s worst nightmare.

She was preaching

this gave me chills

Black woman who lost her son just preached on systemic racism, antiblackness, Black ppls internalized self-hatred and white supremacy. 

But some of y’all missed it 

(via mr-egbutt)

Source: rhomeporium